learning again

wanna get in bed with my demons and fuck em into submission 

these enticing dark thoughts are intoxicating

left the door open and they walked right in

poison running through my mind

I black out

can’t run my life anymore 

i want you out my bed now

out my room right now

out my life, just walkout

its been too long, in bed with these bad thoughts too long

got a toxic relationship with myself and no one else

made me think i was less than everyone when i dont give a fuck about anyone else 

just trying to make it through these dark nights by myself 

thoughts running through my mind

chasing em all across the world 

filters and fillers 

i think i need a lift too 

been feeling down for too long

cant even laugh on the outside so i do it alone inside 

thought i left this shit in the past but it comes back to life when i die inside

seems like only one of us can live at once

maybe ill take em out with me 

i pray ill make it through 

remembering the times i didnt wanna make it through 

the people that i would have left devastated 

the train just passed 

eyes closed pointed at the sky

deep exhale

dark thoughts like sleeper cells

makin it hell

cant fathom being enough 

something i know but can not accept 

good thoughts keep getting declined

smile fell 

picked it up

glued it on upside down 

hearing boos as i walk through empty halls 

what a beautiful death jumping into the abyss



scattered across the ocean

soul rose left my body on earth

dont know how to deal with the gravity

of this situation

everything fine as long as you don’t take time to feel any of it

everything fine as long as you don’t feel sorry for yourself

cocaine highs take the pains away

one day at a time

but all I remember is today

can’t balance

equilibrium off

hooked by bad thoughts

questioning everything im hearing

staying down on the ten count 

know how it ends

laying cold down to my heart

finally emptied my mind

dark thoughts spilled over the floor

please don’t come knocking on the door

there’s no one home