where did you go?

you’re like all the lost memories that shaped me

and now im questioning how i got here

through the amour fou that consumed us 

the sex that sustained us

and the sunset ice creams that calmed us

why have i become so blasé

about the amour fou 

the night that kept going 

is suddenly still

back to black playing back to back 

drowning out the loneliness of this suffering

will i see you in rehab

will we pretend we don’t see each other 

or will we escape in the still of the night

when i look at you everything stops

the woman that made my heart race

i look at her and see a gray fate

i look at the mirror

i see another gray face

somewhere i stopped looking and the smile escaped

stab me in the back 

i can’t feel the dire situation 

when all i see is a mirage