fine print

all I want to do is feel something

without emotion, I feel like I’m in a paralyzing limbo 

getting dizzy while the world spins on without me

with its grand illusions of meaning and righteous behavior 

While I wait to join it

disturbed water slowly releasing its trapped energy

Young man, you are still learning the cold nature of this world

the ruthlessness people fight with for a manufactured scarcity

an ever-progressing society that doesn’t know its limits

which sweeps you at your feet with its beautiful pleasures packaged for your insecurities and delivered at desperate times

like the very fabric of space being stretched so are the boundaries of what is necessary for modern living 

a fundamental society needs community, food and water, art and healing

but that is a fine print in the contract of a modern existence

anything like the present is noise that corrupts an artist and turns him into a tool for never-ending progress

it is a basic human trait to always have something to work on 

but capitalism acts as rocket fuel that separates the soul from the body of a man

becoming a shell of a man

people have been facing the same fundamental problems; relating to the same finite human emotions; to varying weights, in all of our history

the primal tenets of love, money, and sex are variables of the whole matrix when everything is simplified

the noise has gotten to me recently and I have been unable to filter it 

my unreleased pieces are evidence of this corruption within 

but slowly as I age,

I start to understand my defaults 

the ones which can run in the dark 

and the ones which manufacture the fear of darkness

“” Young man you can’t not suddenly return to your purity after being corrupted

you have to earn it back, pay back all the phoniness by analyzing and documenting every commit

only then can you rollback to a version that you like and build up again “”